When you feel like a big fat failure
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt the dismal doldrums that arise from feeling like you’ve failed at something. If you are a mother, or in fact, even just a human being reading this; (as opposed to an animal, naturally) You will have.
Maybe you’re not doing as well as you think you should be at work, you’ve given up on your diet or let down a friend. The truth is everybody fails at some things sometimes.
To say my adult life has been a turbulent one would be an understatement! I have made the wrong choices when it comes to men, been in volatile and violent relationships.
I had my eldest son at just 19 years of age and my younger two nine years later and have been a single parent for most of those years.
I’ve been in and out of different jobs and training courses, never being able to stick to one path.
I’ve been depressed and cruel to people I love and a drain on my parent’s finances! Seriously my mum had to go to work purely to help me through the hard times; for which I am eternally grateful, love you, Mum & Dad!
I consistently felt like a big fat failure, feeling like the only one in my family never to have achieved any success or real independence.
In the past, I’ve let this feeling get me so down. Often I would just give up for a while; I’ve allowed things to spiral out of control in my home, my relationships and I felt like I let my kids down.
I have wasted so much time feeling frustrated at myself for failing so miserably at life.
Now I see failure from a different perspective.
I see failure in a more positive light. Resilience and the ability to keep going is the key to success. If we didn’t fail at some things sometimes, we wouldn’t be human beings, and those that say they haven’t, lie!
I can now see that each time I have been down, I got up again, I fought and carried on.
Throughout my life, I have learned practical skills, and I can pick these up again once I can go back to work. I am raising three wonderful, caring and considerate children. For which my parents are immensely proud of me.
My relationship with my family is stronger purely because I can see now that for every time I failed, I have learned from the experience and found a way to get back on track.
In the words of Sir Ken Robinson–
If you are not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original.
Embrace the failure
When you fail once, twice or even three times at something don’t see this as an indication you should give up. See failure as a sign that something needs to be fixed, instead of focusing on whatever is wrong.
Most of the time the one thing that holds us back from trying again are our own limiting beliefs. These limiting beliefs can appear in any shape or form and appear in all areas of our lives.
We feel that we aren’t brave enough to try something new or we’re not intelligent enough to ever be successful. It might even be a fear of reaching out for help in case we get rejected.
Whatever our limiting beliefs may be we can’t always stop them from happening. However, we can choose to see them for what they are, just thoughts, and we can choose to ignore them.
Once we decide to ignore these beliefs about ourselves we take away their power and the control they have over our lives.
You live and learn.
Feeling like you’ve failed at something doesn’t have to be a negative experience, dig deep, be honest and find the lesson.
If I spend my time beating myself up about the mistakes I’ve made in the past, I won’t have any time left to try new things heading into the future.
While failing at something is never fun, you will never know what you could achieve if you don’t try? Even the most successful people in life have failed many times before and will continue to in the future.
That is the nature of life.
The reality is we all make mistakes and as Winston Churchill said; Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is only the courage to continue that matters.
Lately, I have been looking forward to all the exciting new things to come. I can see that the past is not a roadmap for the future and I have the power to change things. I just have to continue to try.
The solution is to learn from your mistakes and not let a few setbacks stand in your way.
If you have a dream, dream big!
The same applies to you, animals. For those of you who may have read this post!