Are you your own worst enemy?
The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. If you don’t have reasons to love yourself then how can you expect anybody else to? Though this is true, for many of us, the hardest thing to do is love ourselves.
(Flashback to 1991, my school leavers assembly, singing George Bensons The Greatest Love Of All urghh! I still know all the words, shudder!!)
In a world where perfection is seemingly everywhere, it is sometimes easy to slip into a self-loathing mode.
I have lost count of the times over the last several years I felt a profound hatred for myself on every level. The heartache often triggered by a feeling of not being good enough or undeserving life’s pleasures. Being unable to look in a mirror because I hate the way I look; Allowing negativity fill my mind with so much self-doubt I passed up on many an incredible opportunity.
Never feeling good enough to achieve anything of any significance.
Feeling I’ve failed in every endeavour watching other people seemingly have the perfect jobs, perfect homes, perfect families and perfect lives. Deep down I know this isn’t the truth and just a smokescreen often played out on social media to distort the onlookers’ vision.
We have to stop focusing on the lives of others and what we believe to be true and start concentrating on the lives that matter the most. Love yourself because striving for others fictional perfection is a sentence of misery and exhaustion.( A lesson I have learnt only recently).
No matter where you go or what you do in this life you will always be you so remember, you are worthy of love and the place it starts is within yourself.
How you feel about yourself determines the way you live your life, it influences everything you do the way you project yourself to others the relationships you choose and the way you deal with problems.
Loving yourself is fundamental to living well.
So what does it really mean to love yourself?
Self-love is not something you can buy in a department store, a new pair of shoes, outfit or beauty product won’t help you. Not even the partner we choose can do this for us. Loving yourself is more than just feeling good.
Self-love is not something you can just wake up one morning and do! Appreciation for yourself grows over time by the way we act. When we increase self-acceptance, we understand our strengths and weaknesses better. We feel less need to explain our flaws and improve kindness and forgiving towards ourselves. Life will become more purposeful and fulfilling.
Let me put my case forward with the following. Ten reasons you should fall madly in love with yourself.
You will make better decisions
Love and self-acceptance will help you make better decisions based on what is right for you. You will come to realise you are important, your opinion matters and you are not just here to please others.
You will make decisions based on your self-worth and what you know you deserve. Negative thoughts will disappear hence, highering your expectations!
You’ll learn to say no!
Saying no to things you don’t want to do is often the hardest thing to do. However, by saying no to the things you don’t want to do, you are freeing up valuable time to concentrate on the things that are important to you.
Always saying yes to things you don’t want to do creates resentment, negativity, burn out and ultimately no time left for you.
You will realise that your time and feelings matter just as much as everybody else’s and saying no will become a whole lot easier.
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself” – Paolo Coelho
Your self-image will improve.
You will accept the skin you live in, your body and your opinion. Realise you too deserve happiness.
Looking in the mirror, you will see a different soul, one of peace and love, rather than that of your external appearance; Though once you have respect for yourself that won’t look too bad either (swit swoo!).
Everybody is different, and that’s what makes us unique. Leaning to love every part of your individuality, quirks and flaws will free you from low self-belief.
You will accept you’re not perfect.
But guess what… Nobody is! Except you will be ok with that.
You will free yourself from toxic people
You will no longer accept the negativity of others. Listening to toxic people will become tiring, witnessing their actions will upset you. Ultimately leading you to leave them behind.
Toxic people are manipulative and selfish. You will recognise that such people project their negativity. You’ll become less tolerant of anybody who tries to bring you down and makes you feel as though you have to apologise and explain yourself all the time.
You will attract success.
Realising you are worthy and loving yourself will allow you to believe you can achieve anything. By believing I mean you will develop a practical point of view, you will develop strategies and determination to achieve goals you set.
You may have heard the quote; Whether you believe you can or believe you cant, you’re right; These words couldn’t be truer, there is definitely something to be said for the power of the mind. However, you must love yourself first because fighting self-doubt and limiting beliefe’s is a battle you will never win.
Low mood and anxiety will diminish
When you feel good about yourself, you can see things in a more positive light. When we feel sad our thoughts and feelings twist from that of reality, self-love will enable you to see clearly, and you will become less hard on yourself. Understand its ok not to be ok and allow yourself time to heal.
Self-doubt will disappear because you will know you deserve love, not only for yourself but others too.
More resilient to stress
You will gain confidence in your ability to handle everyday life. Self-love will continue to grow as you understand that you don’t have to be perfect.
You will find it easier to accept the things you can’t change and address stressful situations head-on. When you love yourself, you will deal with issues in a more logical manner knowing you are capable of handling them.
Adopting a positive attitude you will find it easier to problem solve and even feel confident enough to ask for help when you need it.
Learning to love yourself will enable you to feel compassion for others less fortunate. You will develop a deep sense of purpose, exude kindness and be confident in your ability to help others.
You will become more determined to grow and achieve
Once you accept and love yourself, there will be no stopping you!
You will know you can achieve everything you want in life purely because you understand any limiting beliefs are precisely that; limiting.
Knowing you can override such ideas, because you are able, will provide you with the motivation and energy to stay focused on your goals.
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